Breakdown of family relationships
The modern diversity of family structures has also served to raise doubts about the meaning and form of the traditionally obligatory family gathering. Wendy Shieh, the head of Shih Chien University's Department of Social Work, says that though the majority of Taiwanese families are currently nuclear families, we also have growing numbers of single-parent families, couples cohabiting without marriage, homosexual couples, and even households comprised of couples with children from previous relationships. Singles living alone or with a pet constitute yet another type of "family" that has arisen in recent years.
With the evolution of these trends, people are wondering who, besides their parents and siblings, counts as family. They are also asking themselves who they really want to celebrate the holiday with and what kind of get-together they want to have. In the modern era, people can't help but revisit these kinds of questions as the holiday approaches.
For example, whose family should a gay couple or an unmarried-but-cohabiting heterosexual couple spend their Lunar New Year's Eve with? Should they visit both families? Should they face together the pressures to marry and uncomfortable looks that are part and parcel of family gatherings?
As Taiwan's gay community has come to put it: "You can hide during the Mid-Autumn Festival, but you can't hide on the Lunar New Year." Chien Chih-chieh, secretary-general of the Awakening Foundation, a proponent of both the proposed Spouse Act and the proposed Gay Marriage Act, notes that whether out of the closet or not, the compulsion to visit family at the New Year brings a lot of stress. Those still in the closet are likely to worry that they will be "outed," while those who are already out worry that their "difference" will cause talk among friends and family.
"The New Year also requires people to spend time away from their partners. As a consequence, not only do gay persons not get to enjoy the -friendly interactions associated with the New Year, they must also suffer the absence of their partners."
Chien adds that the phenomenon of gay people fearing family gatherings isn't limited to Taiwan. Research has revealed that gay individuals residing in other nations often suffer from a form of depression linked to family gatherings during the Christmas season, and that those who are severely afflicted may even contemplate suicide. Over time, many gays either establish boundaries between themselves and their families, or simply avoid large family gatherings entirely.
Couples with children from previous relationships face a similar issue: which set of grandparents do they take the kids to see on the holiday? No matter what they choose, someone's going to be unhappy.
A Mr. Zhu, who lost his spouse many years ago, has been reluctant to marry his girlfriend of more than 10 years, herself a single parent, for precisely this reason. He says that by remaining unmarried, he is free to take his kids to see their maternal grandparents over the holiday. His girlfriend's children are also able to enjoy a fairly stress-free visit with their father.
"If we were to marry, our New Year's planning would have to account for four families," says Zhu. "My girlfriend and her child would probably have to come with me to my parents' home, which would make things much more complicated. Life is short enough already. Why should we make it more difficult than it already is?"
The disputes arising out of the weakening of family relationships can often make people wonder why they should feel obligated to attend a get-together at such a sensitive time. That, in turn, makes it easier to contemplate spending the holiday traveling, -whether in Taiwan or abroad.