Painful choices
Her yearning for home was a constant obsession.
August, 1995 was a time of great uncertainty in Taiwan. While record numbers of Taiwanese were intimidated into emigration by PRC saber-rattling, Chen finally made her long-awaited return home. Back in Taiwan, she busied herself with teaching, writing, travel, and lecturing. She held posts as "author in residence" at various universities, visited temples and was active in the movement to modernize Buddhism and give it a uniquely Taiwanese face. She was involved in associations for women writers and senior citizens' clubs, as well as participating in conservationist efforts. Her life was eminently satisfying except for the fact that her husband, Duan Shi-yao, continually clamored for her to return to the US. Ultimately, she had to choose between Taiwan and her family, so she did what many would find heartless: she severed her ties with her family to remain in Taiwan. With her attorney son acting as witness, she finalized her divorce with her husband.
Life defies expectation. Here at the dusk of her life, Lucy Chen found herself once again face to face with Chen Xiu-mei, the young woman who once declared her intention to live alone.
The apartment on Chaozhou St. is big enough for a sole occupant. Though a bit spartan in its amenities and lacking in any conspicuous decorations, she finds it perfect for the simple life she wishes to lead.
In this same apartment she wrote her autobiography, No Regrets, which, despite having 50,000 characters worth of "controversial" content excised by the publishers from the original 230,000 characters, still attracted an enthusiastic readership on account of its unpretentious style. She has heard that Wang Wen-xing, her old classmate, was not amused by the descriptions of the amorous liaisons of his youth, and for this she feels some regret.
She is most deeply gratified to know, however, that readers on both sides of the Taiwan Strait have found her book to be thor-oughly riveting and indispensible.
She scours the paper every day for newspaper clippings that interest her, and is most concerned with gender issues. She'll read Qinqiang by mainland author Jia Ping'ao, complaining all the while that the writing is cheap. She's been distancing herself from the metaphysical preoccupations of Buddhism in favor of the vibrant social camaraderie of Christianity that injects light into her mundane existence. She's "adopted" a dolphin, campaigns for wilderness conservation. She's opposed to the Su'ao-Hua-lien Highway project, and finds the anti-mainland vitriol so common amongst Taiwanese today to be quite alarming.
"Life first and foremost" is the mantra of the 72-year-old Lucy Chen. She's long ceased to be the Chen Ruoxi who penned The Execution of Mayor Yin all those years ago-many times she forgets she's ever been a writer. Her focus today is simply to live well, laugh often, and enjoy the freedom of her silver-haired golden years.
This is the 2010 Hong Kong edition of the novel Huixinlian.